All about motivation

I can tell that I am back on track for real now. I just tried to eat a strawberry doughnut and couldn't do it. To sweet! The husband ate it for me. I even ate a grilled veggie burger and a very healthy salad instead of the big, homemade, delicious burgers I made for them, so I could save the calories for the doughnut, but after just a little bit I feel like I could fall asleep standing up and I have a sugar rush that doesn't feel good at all.

The husband is off the diet again, has been since just after the first week. I have been staying with the healthy eating though, and each week that passes it is becoming an automatic habit again.

With finding out that my Mom has cancer and high sugar now, I have been very sad and down about it, but it has also kept me on track. I want to lose the weight and try to keep myself as healthy as possible. There has also been several members of the family and close friends who have had heart surgery in the past months and a family friend who died of a heart attack, who was very overweight. These things make me sad, but it is motivating also.

I haven't weighed. I don't have a home scale. That's on purpose. It can help, but it can also hurt. This past winter it didn't help. I ended up at the doctor's every two weeks for a little bit. And the scale was up the first time a little, well that was bad, then it seemed to make me feel that it didn't matter what I did when every time I thought I was trying and went back the scale went a little higher. I guess I will get weighed if I have to visit the doctor again sometime. And hopefully it will be good and motivating then. I can tell though, wearing a few things that are in a smaller size than I was. That is very helpful to keep me on track.